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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Hormones 1, Me 0

{Not me crying...this is what I wish I looked like when I am crying...}
 
Pretty sure this is what I actually look like when crying
{Aside from being a 6'7" black man...I think this nails my crying face...not sure, but I am just guessing}
 
 
So....I had heard all this talk about pregnancy hormones, and how they can make you go on this roller coaster of emotions and mood swings.  True to my nature, I figured "yeah..if you can't control yourself, jeez, I will be fine, I will just be tougher and stronger than the hormones, and will be a totally wonderful happy pregnant woman.  Me and my will are tougher than hormones, you will see...."
 
(To all of the other dear women who read this blog, who have gone through this before me, and are laughing at me right now...go ahead. And I promise, if you are hating me right now for my self righteous attitude, don't worry...I will get my comeuppance...and soon....)
 
 
So that was my plan...just outwill those pesky astronomical levels of progesterone and estrogen pumping through my system at alarming rates.  I mean they have the power to transform a tiny person in my body, and to turn bananas into tuna flavored horror, but me, I can out wit them...I am that good.
 
Booooom.
 
 
Nope.
 
 
It all started yesterday afternoon.  The Hubs had been gone all week long working a very important homicide case. (Yep, that is what he does...so cool and sexy right?....um try living it in real life...we will tell you, while it is cool...it sucks ALOT of the time.)  Anywho, he had been gone every night this week, and I was missing him.  And with this new alien in my belly, I had so many things I couldn't wait to talk to him about.  I starting missing him so much I felt like crying..... I didnt, but I wanted to.....I should have seen the signs.
 
Next came the end of the day.  I left work, happy that The Hubs appeared to me heading home tonight.  Yay!  I stopped and got us both a drink.  Just as I was about to give the Hubs his drink, the lid flew off in spectacular fashion and 44 oz. of Diet Coke flooded the floorboards of my front seat.  I wanted to cry. WHAT THE ......!?!? Why do I want to cry!?!  I should be cussing, and damning the stupid cheap lid makers...no... all I wanted to do was cry.  That is when I had a sneaking suspicion...it was over...the hormones were winning.  Hell bent on teaching me and my self righteous ass a lesson about their powers.
 
We made it home, and sat down at the table while dinner cooked.  We started talking about all the things I had on my mind.  One was nursing, and how nervous I was, and all the research I had done, and then...I started crying. Yep. I starting crying about my fears of nursing, and my fears of being totally unattractive to my husband...7.5 MONTHS BEFORE IT IS HAPPENING! I even said "omg...why am I crying...what the...."  The Hubs just smiled and hugged me, and said "it is the alien, he has taken over your body and done this to you...sweet little alien"
 
Then the Hubs got a call again, yet another grissly crime scene awaited him.  And I started bawling again. See, I am used to this by now.  First of all, the Hubs is on call 7-10 days out of every month, I am VERY well versed in his call outs, and him having to leave.  But this time,  for some reason, I just couldn't handle it last night. Stupid Hormones.
 
Today I feel fine, and a little silly and embarassed at my weepiness last night, but I guess for once, I have a good excuse to act insane ;)
 
Welp, hormones, you win. Thanks for knocking me off of my high horse.  Guess I deserved it, thinking my will was stronger than nature, and every other woman in the world. Well played hormones, well played.
 
I am sure we will meet again.
 

 

8 comments:

  1. I was going to write something philosophical, heart rendering and just plain sweet but then I read Hubs comment to you and decided that couldn't be topped. You are blessed to have Paul Hahs as a husband, Miranda.

    Oh, pull your big girl panties on and get'er dun. The devil made me type that, I swear.

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    1. You always crack me up. And yes, he is pretty perfect.

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  2. You are blessed to have each other. You make an awesome couple! You may feel topsy turvy now but control will return, trust me.

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  3. Aww! My sweet brave fearless daughter! You are a very strong woman but..... you will never beat mother nature. You will be fine & sanity will return ... well for some of y'all. Me never happened- shut it Jim devil writer! I love you! Paul you have definitely been to husband school!

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    1. He has. Which is why I snapped him up :)

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