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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

We hosted Thanksgiving...and oh yeah..We are having a Baby

WHAT!?!?! You exclaim! Yep...we hosted Thanksgiving...successfully.. I roasted a 20 lb turkey, and made home made pie crusts. I also created a fabulous spread of appetizers...

What?

Oh....you don't care about Thanksgiving....you wanna hear about the baby!?  You sure you don't want me to post about my turkey basting secrets and pie crust technique....ok...fine....

 
{Me with my pee stick...eww}

Yes...The Hubs and I are expecting a baby.  We told the family over Thanksgiving dinner.  And although the announcement did not quite go as we had thought it would,  it all turned out fine in the end. We kinda announced it in a joking manner, and it did not go over well. Meh well, live and learn.

Our baby is due in July. Yay...I get to be HUGE in Texas summer. Oh well, I am still insanely excited.

In light of our new endeavor in life, I thought I would share a list of things I have already learned about being pregnant that no one told me.  I plan to add to this list as things progress, but we will start with what I have learned in the past few weeks.

1. People are going to ask you inappropriate questions.  20 times a day. Boobs, hooha, conception.... it is all up for grabs. It makes me crinkle my nose and want to run away.
2.  Certain friends in your life are going to ask you 7,000 questions daily about everything from "when you plan to tell your HR department?", to "why is your doctor doing  an ultrasound so early? ...are you sure that is right?...when I WAS PREGNANT..." It is exhausting. 
3.  Everything you eat or drink will be scrutinized by your entire office.
4.  Your "hooha" will take on an identity of it's own.  People will feel free to talk about it, and it's impending doom- like it isn't even there...at the copy machine, over lunch, everwhere...hooha hooha, hooha....how horrible your poor hooha is going to feel after it is all over....
5.  Every woman will tell you the horrors of her pregnancy. Every. single. one.
6.  In the morning, everything I eat tastes like tuna. Bananas, malt o meal, muffins. Tuna.
7.  Tuna flavored malt o meal washes off the side of your car pretty easily if you get to it quickley.
8.  Decaf coffee is a joke. I hate you decaf. No wait, I love you....please don't leave me.
9.  What the hell is cord blood banking, and why do I not know about this, and oh I should research this, and oh, it is $13,000 dollars, um... never mind.
10.  Everyone you know, including your doctor and her nurse will jokingly tell you it  might end up twins. You will want to kill them, and then go cry. And then go buy two of everything.

The list will continue, as this little alien platypus (that is what it looks like at this point) continues to take over my body and then come ripping out of me like the scene from alien. Should be fun I think.

Oh...almost forgot #11. This is VERY important. Very.

11.  Don't watch any videos of natural births before 1987....they are horrendous. And they don't do things like that any more...I asked...keep the videos current, otherwise, you may end up sitting at your kitchen table; staring blankly at your husband, as he stares back at you, both of you frozen in horror.  Trying to make the 70's video go away from it's burned hole in your brain.

Yay baby!
 

5 comments:

  1. Congratulations to you Both. I am looking forward to more exciting tales! I am really proud of that Thanksgiving Turkey and pie crusts. You are great! Love you.

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  2. Congrats!!!! And here is my baby advice: you can totally do this!

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    1. Thanks so much Amanda! I will be looking to you for advice along the way :D

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  3. Natural childbirth is a philosophy of childbirth that is based on the belief that women who are adequately prepared are innately able to give birth without routine medical interventions. Natural childbirth arose in opposition to the techno-medical model of childbirth that has recently gained popularity in industrialized societies, and is a childbirth philosophy that attempts to minimize medical intervention, particularly the use of anesthetic medications and surgical interventions such as episiotomies, forceps and ventouse deliveries and caesarean sections. A woman's definition of 'natural' may range from no intervention at all to birth which includes any intervention deemed appropriate.. The application of this philosophy may occur during a physician or midwife attended hospital birth, a midwife attended homebirth, or an unassisted birth.The term "natural childbirth" was coined by obstetrician Grantly Dick-Read upon publication of his book Natural Childbirth in the 1930s, which was followed by the 1942 Childbirth Without Fear.

    What else do you need to know?

    Congratulations to you both!

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