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Monday, January 14, 2013

It is Never Too Late to Live Happily Ever After

As more people who are not family begin to read this blog, I thought I should explain all the craziness that is my little hen house. And by "all" I mean the three ladies who read this who aren't related to me by blood and have not known me since birth. Sheesh, can't ever get a break from the masses of fans, I feel ya Kim Kardashian.
Anywho, allow me to explain how the Hubs and I,  came to be, and why our little family is so awesome.
So, our little love story began at work, where the hubs and I mutually stalked eachother until one day "running into" eachother at the coffee maker. This seemed like a perfect oppurtunity for the Hubs to walk me to my car, and spend the next 45 minutes talking to me about non-sense just so that the conversation wouldn't have to end. I left the parking lot that day consumed with thoughts of him. I texted him a week later, on his work number (the only number I had) to which he replied giving me his personal number. Hah! Score! I was in!! We haven't stopped blowing up eachother's phones since.
Yes, I am pregnant with our first baby. Yes, my Monkey is 5, and is my son. No, I did not give birth to him, nor did we adopt him. Stay with me...focus...He came in the form of a dowry of sorts when I married the Hubs.
There they were, two scruffy bachelors, clunking around the house in a diaper and boxers, eating random hot dogs out of the freezer, needing a lady in thier lives. I knew the Hubs and Monkey needed me when the Hubs asked me if I thought sending the Monkey to day-care for the third day in a row in the same outfit would get CPS called on him. "I mean, I washed it" he said.... I went to Walmart that night and bought my "new boyfriend's" child, who I was not yet allowed to meet, a new shirt and a pair of pants. That's when I knew, they needed me. The Monkey was still in diapers when I met him, and so, in my all knowing opinion, if you potty train a child and clean their poo out of your carpet at 5 am, you officially become their parent, no matter what biology says. So, the Monkey is my oldest son, this new baby will be my first biological child.
Neither the Hubs, or me, are new to this whole marriage thing. Gasp! What what! This wholesome couple who farms chickens and makes homemade jam are.........*judgemental whisper voice* ....divorcees....yup. Couple times. We didn't get it right the first time, and so, we learned some valuable lessons and put those lessons to good use this time.  This is what my mother, has lovingly coined 'husband school.'  My mom jokes that the Hubs must have gone to husband school, as he always knows the right thing to do, or say, or when to just be quiet and get me the ice cream NOW. This I chock up to his past....whisper voice...divorces. Husband school has made my amazing Hubs the awesome partner I have today.
Oh but there is more..I also have another daughter, who is 14, soon to be 15. Sissybug lives with us too.  She is The Hubs' from his first divorce. She chose to live with us last summer, and we have been blessed to have her ever since. And to be completely truthful, Sissy doesn't make the blog often, well, because, she is so low key that their really isn't much insanity to write about. She doesn't poop on the carpet, or talk about Big Balls in public. She just does her homework, does her chores, and plays on her computer. That. is. it. When I tell people that I married a man, with children, and that his 14 year old daughter came to live with us, I usually get the gasp, followed by the "oh, you tough brave woman" hand pat. However, not the case with Sissy.  She is 14, and probably one of the sweetest people you will ever meet. She has never once uttered the words to me "you are not my mother" she has never rolled her eyes at me, and has never answered me with anything other than "yes ma'am", even when I am telling her someting I know makes her want to scream. Yup, I couldn't ask for a better behaved daughter. Disclaimer** She starts drivers ed next fall, check back with me then, I will have a new baby, and a kid in drivers ed, let's see how fun those days are....
The Hubs also has two other daughters who we don't see very often. They choose not to live with us, and one only visits occasionally, but that is thier choice.
In the beginning- The Hubs and I dated quietly for a few months until he was transferred to a different division, and we felt it was PC to "come out." During that time, I was not allowed to meet his kids. I heard all about the Monkey, and the girls, but meeting them would take time. That is how I knew I wanted this man to be the father of my children. Although at the time, we had both sworn off three things: falling in love again, marriage again, and any more children.....Bahahah! Anyway..back to the soap opera.... The Hubs didn't want them meeting me, and getting attached and then me flaking out, or breaking their hearts or whatever. So for a  few months we snuck around like highschool kids on prom night. No seriously, like ninja style sneaking out of windows before kids woke up, and covert James Bondish parking around the corner  type stuff.  Sissybug has no shot at sneaking a boy in, we mastered it. I met the Monkey first, and immediatley fell in love as he destroyed my 'single girl with lots of breakable knick knacks' apartment. I eventually got to meet everyone else in due time.
So that is us. Insanely happily, stupidly gushy, kissy face married couple- who both have done this thing before and failed spectacularly. Full time parents to two kiddos who rock our world everyday. And expecting parents to a new little alien, who continues to excite and scare us. We are a typical American Family.
The Hubs and I live by a motto, in fact it is stenciled on a plaque in our kitchen.  "It is never too late to Live Happily Ever After" and we really believe that. We both have a past, and it aint rainbows and unicorn farts, but it shaped who we are, and made us into better people, and for that, we are thankful.


  1. Very well written Darlin, I just wish you hadn't told people I was wearing a diaper and letting PJ run around in boxers...

    Oh...You meant....*blushing* sorry. I'll be quiet and go get the ice cream Love. :)

  2. "So that is us. Insanely happily, stupidly gushy, kissy face married couple- who both have done this thing before and failed spectacularly. Full time parents to two kiddos who rock our world everyday. And expecting parents to a new little alien, who continues to excite and scare us. We are a typical American Family."

    What else can be said. Some of us can never muster the courage you and the Hubs managed to do. Thanks for sharing your "Love Story" with this family newbie.

    Oh, and to Hubs, thanks for clarifying the diapers vs boxers. Somehow I think of you in whitey tightes and now I know the truth.

    1. I am glad you liked it! And letting the world know the Hubs underwear choice is reason enough to post it :)

  3. Could you email me at please? This is the Clyde Woman, aka Mrs. Smith. :)

  4. Aw, I love your story and your happy ending! I'm glad you wrote it so I could know a bit more of your story!

    1. Thank you! I am so glad you liked it :)