The Monkey and I went on a walk by ourselves last night. He does really well on our walks. He stays close and holds my hand, even wehn we both get all sweaty. Summer for him has been tough so far. His lack of structure, and school have resulted in a sharp decline in his behavior and control of his autistic symptoms. It has resulted in me crying my eyes out, him crying his eyes out, and the Hubs often feeling like he is going to lose it if we don't figure out how to manage this. We tried looking into some options for structured autism specific therapy programs...but they are UNGODLY expensive, and our insurance company told us that they do not cover treatment for Autism. So there we are right now. Anyway, we keep pressing on, and these walks seem to help calm him. It gets rid of some of his excess energy, lets him be a little loud, and lets me focus on him and talk to him. Soon enough, my focus will be shifted, that is just a fact, and I want to savor these times with him.
Last night we walked and talked. We talked about the life cycle of a butterfly, and the cartoons he likes, and the horses you see pictured above.
The younger, brown horse follows us as we walk and begs for attention at the fence. The Monkey is happy to oblige, and is not even the slightest bit scared. (Which is so surprising, given his fear of clapping, singing, crowds, noises, fireworks, dogs, you name it..) But a huge horse...no fear. His brain and how it functions differently than everyone else's fascinates me.
I love that I am raising my boys in an area where this is our view when we walk. I love the way nature and animals seem to recharge us, even when things are hard. I will try to remember to take this journey one day at a time, and not be overwhelmed by adding a new baby to an already tough situation with autism rearing it's ugly head. And when it gets to be too much for me, I will try to remember, to just go out, walk in the warm air, and give this guy some attention.