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Monday, September 30, 2013

Missing teeth, Flat heads, and Flabby Butts

Yep...That's what we got goin' on at our house.

{Does this count as Tummy Time? Well...this is how he prefers to sit now...while watching Cops...no joke}

I will start with Ol' Flat Head. Have you ever realized you were not worried very much about something you should be worried about? That was me last week. Well...let me start from the beginning.
At our 2 month check up on The Piglet, the Doctor casually mentioned that his head was getting a touch flat, and that we needed to increase his "tummy time." Yeah, yeah, yeah, got it Doc, his head is flat like ALL other babies at this age...surely it will pop back out once he starts sitting up more....blah blah.
But then...I read a blog about a precious baby girl who had to have a helmet put on, due to Plagiocephaly...... Here is a look inside my brain: wait...plagiocephaly...that word, that word..... sounds familiar, (checks The Piglet's paperwork from his most recent Dr. visit) Holy shit! They diagnosed him with PLAGIOCEPHALY!!! Why didn't anyone tell me!!!!! WHAT!!! Sound the alarms!!! Call in a specialist!!!! WHAT!!! IT CAN DEFORM THEIR FACE?????!!!!!!!OH SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!! EMERGENCY! Yes....that is what my brain did. So I did what all good mothers would do. I panicked.
I called my mother, who keeps Piglet while I work and immediately told her to flip him on his stomach and never again let his head touch a surface. And being my mother, and a very loving grandmother, she agreed completely and encouraged me to take him for a second opinion. I called the Hubs at work, broke down the horrors for him and how our gorgeous baby would surely now need such a helmet , and could be facially deformed for life.  He agreed we needed a second opinion, but did not share my emergency alert hysterics. That is why we work so well together...he is definitely the calm one when it comes to things like this. I immediately decide that the worst case scenerio is most definitely our fate.
So, I took the next day off of work and took my baby to Texas Children's for a second opinion.  The doctor who saw us was wonderful, and did a much better job of explaining plagiocephalus. And yes it can cause permanent head flattening and facial deformity if not treated early. AND WHY DIDN'T THE OTHER DOCTOR TELL ME THIS!?" I shouted as I shook her (not really, but you can imagine) She explained that yes, the other doctor had failed to explain the condition to me fully, and had really downplayed it, and yes she probably should have gone over the condition fully, but that my little Piglet's plagiocephaly was very minor and could easily be corrected with more tummy time. Piglet had a large bump on his head from a looong 3 hour push session during birth...therefor he favored lying his head on the other side.
So...true to my nature, Piglet has pretty much had to learn to live his life in a constant state of Tummy Time. He is cool with it now...as the pic shows above, he just chills on his Boppy....lettin' his head "pop" back out. We are officially changing pediatricians. I will keep ya'll updated as we go along. My heart goes out to all the parents who's stories I read as I researched the SHIT out of Plagiocephaly. It really does sneak up on you, and of course you feel instant guilt.....if only we held him more, if only we DID do tummy time as much as we should...


In addition to having flat heads, my kids teeth are falling out! Ha, but this time, it is a good thing. The Monkey finally lost his first tooth...and then another...all in a matter of 3 days. He is so proud.
The tooth fairy brought him Cars Mini Drifters...cause, well, the concept of money is lost on a 6 year old with autism. And the tooth fairy knows what's up.....
 
The Monkey also found himself the coolest friend this weekend. He befriended a very calm and patient frog, who allowed him to carry him around all day, and even rode quietly and without objection on top of the Monkey's head as they played in the yard.
 
Now...no matter how hard I try, I cannot think of a good segway into flabby butts....so we will just jump off into the butt flab.
I have a flabby butt, geez I feel like I am at an AA meeting but for butt flab. "Hello, My name is Miranda, and I......I have a flabby butt."  Claps all around.  But seriously, the ol backside aint what she used to be before Ol' Flathead came along, so I have started running again (on my hour lunch breaks at work...because that is the only time I can even THINK of to run), trying to eat healthy and make good choices about food.  I will try to keep ya'll updated on my post baby body recovery, or whatever I eventually call it..for now...it is ol' flabby cheeks. Oh and there is no picture for this portion of the post....you are very welcome.


Thursday, September 26, 2013

Why yes I have it all together, thanks for asking....

So I am finding that organization is KEY now that I have a baby, and a busy 6 year old, and a very very busy 15 year old, and a Hubs who is called away at a moment's notice, and a full time job....If I am going to keep this shit show together and keep fooling all our neighbors and friends into thinking I really have it all together, then I better keep myself organized.

While preparing to go back to work I struggled with whether I should start carrying a purse again, and keep the diaper bag seperate...or do I try to do a combo action, I wasn't sure. Like most mothers, while I was exclusively staying home, my diaper bag became my purse. The outside pockets were great for my wallet, keys, phone, it worked well.  However now that I am back working, lugging a diaper bag into a meeting isn't going to win me any cool points in my male driven and dominated field. In short, I will look like an ass carrying my giant diaper bag into a meeting about critical infrastructure collapse....baby wipe anyone? And since the diaper bag has now taken on the role of carrying my junk too..it is a bit cumbersome to say the least...
 
Who wants to lug this into Target for a quick stop..... it takes up most of the cart!
 
So I had started just pulling my wallet, phone and keys out and taking just those in with me. But then I am stuck either holding them the entire time, or trying to set them in the cart next to the baby, and they fall down the cracks or beg to be absentmindedly left behind.
 
So....I found a fantastic solution....of course...at Target. I think they must spend millions on researching the inner workings of the female mind age 28-58...because all of us LOVE us some Target, and end up leaving with more than we came for: every.single.time.
 
To solve my problem, I found this little beauty:
 


She was $14.99.  She is navy and gold, and brick red, my kinda favorite colors right now. I love her because...
Yep...that is my phone, fitting just perfectly inside with all my cards, ID, and cash. Well, actually, that isn't my phone....that is my friend's phone....my phone is even thinner than that so it works even better. Who woulda thought it was impossible to take a pic of your own phone.....with your phone....

Oh and don't be impressed by my "wad" of cash, it is all ones from change I received after breaking a large bill to pay for a $1 tea. Hey...a girl needs her afternoon caffeine.

I don't know how long she will hold up...as she was 15$, and is made of synthetic pleather such material, but she does the job for now, and I didn't want to blow my wad (heh snicker) on some fancy wallet I will only use for this season of my life.

So, now I can easily grab this beauty out of the colossal diaper bag that could essentially use a Sherpa and a yak to tote it around for me, and I even clip my keys on the strap. Problem solved...no more phone loose and sliding down the slats of my Target cart as I stop for diapers, and leave with a new wallet and a bottle of 6$ Moroccan Argon Oil lotion....Damn it! Still forgot diapers.....

Lately my main goal in life is streamlining. Anything that is causing me undue stress, like wallets and phones and giant bags...needs to be changed to something that doesn't....that is the only way I can continue the charade that I have it all together....Otherwise I will likely end up sitting in the parking lot of Target weeping over a dropped and broken phone, and shaking my fist at the sky over the fact that my upgrade is 2 years away.  Not good for the ruse...not good.


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Mommy...You Alive!

That is what my six year old exclaims when I leave the room for a few minutes and return...

I am alive. And so is my precious baby boy, and his big brother, and all my crazy family. I decided to take a computer break during my last few weeks of maternity leave to fully focus on my baby. I doubt I will ever get another oppurtunity to spend 9 weeks at home with any of my children, so I tried to soak it all up.

I spent my days being greeted each morning by this guy....

He is a little chubby bunny who I call "Squishy." He has blossomed into a round little fellow who is in the 75th percentile for height and weight. Holy Moly...big fella. It is amazing to me how much of his personality I can already see.  He is very quiet, and stoic, and very serious and contemplative most of the time. He doesn't give up those smiles easily, but when he does, it melts the room. I find it intriguing how quiet he is. Like he doesn't really cry, he only gets a little huffy breath of indignation when you make him wait to long for his lunch.  I know...mothers of colicky babies are bashing their computer screens right now and trying to hunt me down. I know how lucky I am. But as I told The Hubs last night as we discussed our little Piglet's quiet nature..."God does not give you that which you cannot handle..."  I have an INCREDIBLY LOUD 6 year old with Autism. And a vibrant yet VERY LOUD 15 year old. God knew Mommy needed a little quiet fella to keep her from running into the street in my pajamas babbling about losing my youth and my ability to hear low tones.
 
Breast feeding is over. I gave it my best shot. And before you go sending me links on how "breast is best" and my child will surely not "thrive" drinking formula only....I give you this.... In the words of Sweet Brown : "I got Mastitis...Aint no body got time fo dat!" Yes I got Mastitis...and it whipped my ass. It was like having the flu....and having someone sear my boob in a frying pan all while caring for a newborn. It also dried up my milk on one side due to complete blockage. So...with that icing on my BoobyLand Adventure cake...I stopped nursing. And we are ALL happier for it. Breastfeeding was harder for me than childbirth.

That Bitch, Mastitis, not only found it entertaining to cause me pain and suffering but also tried to ruin my life entirely. Oh yes. That pesky boob infection caused me to almost unintentionally share a pic of my enraged, enflamed, angry mastitis boob with the world! Just know this....if you ever take a pic of your horribly swollen and 'red as a stop sign' mastitis boob to send to your husband so he can understand your horrendous pain from afar...make sure you don't soon after update your Google+ app. As it may start randomly selecting pics from your phone to share with your Google+ audience.....Um, true story. Imagine tech illiterate me: "Honey....why does my phone keep alerting me that I have new pics selected for share on Google+? I updated it this morning.....it is like selecting random pictures to share?....(slow realization that there is an enraged boob pic on my phone) Slow motion run/jump/fall towards my phone....:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 
But enough boob talk for heaven's sake!
 
The Monkey started back to school. He is now in first grade. "what what!?" I remember when we were worried he would enter kindergarten still wearing a pull up! What happened to the years!!

I am back to work. I so wish I didn't have to go back to work. But I do. I remember visiting a friend of mine when I was about 20. She was a young stay at home mom. She talked to me lovingly for what seemed like eternity about how she had just redone her backsplash and painted her kitchen a lovely shade of robin's egg blue. She talked about all the baby's little gurggles and milestones.....I wanted to stab myself in the eye with her paint swatches! As I drove away I thought to myself "You could not pay me enough to be a stay at home mother...no way no how." Well, now, at 30, I would give anything to be at home paying attention to every gurggle and coo and would be crazy stinkin excited to be picking out a new DIY backsplash plan. Oh how the years change us.
 
However, I am blessed to have a career. While I miss my baby more than words can describe, I am trying to enjoy what my life IS. I enjoy the adult conversations I have at work again, I enjoy drinking coffee and talking about sports, and new budget year purchases, and upcoming meetings. I am enjoying working, and being good at my job. But most of all, I enjoy going and picking up my Squishy at 5. 

And....I missed my blogland freinds....it is good to be back.