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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Mommy...You Alive!

That is what my six year old exclaims when I leave the room for a few minutes and return...

I am alive. And so is my precious baby boy, and his big brother, and all my crazy family. I decided to take a computer break during my last few weeks of maternity leave to fully focus on my baby. I doubt I will ever get another oppurtunity to spend 9 weeks at home with any of my children, so I tried to soak it all up.

I spent my days being greeted each morning by this guy....

He is a little chubby bunny who I call "Squishy." He has blossomed into a round little fellow who is in the 75th percentile for height and weight. Holy Moly...big fella. It is amazing to me how much of his personality I can already see.  He is very quiet, and stoic, and very serious and contemplative most of the time. He doesn't give up those smiles easily, but when he does, it melts the room. I find it intriguing how quiet he is. Like he doesn't really cry, he only gets a little huffy breath of indignation when you make him wait to long for his lunch.  I know...mothers of colicky babies are bashing their computer screens right now and trying to hunt me down. I know how lucky I am. But as I told The Hubs last night as we discussed our little Piglet's quiet nature..."God does not give you that which you cannot handle..."  I have an INCREDIBLY LOUD 6 year old with Autism. And a vibrant yet VERY LOUD 15 year old. God knew Mommy needed a little quiet fella to keep her from running into the street in my pajamas babbling about losing my youth and my ability to hear low tones.
Breast feeding is over. I gave it my best shot. And before you go sending me links on how "breast is best" and my child will surely not "thrive" drinking formula only....I give you this.... In the words of Sweet Brown : "I got Mastitis...Aint no body got time fo dat!" Yes I got Mastitis...and it whipped my ass. It was like having the flu....and having someone sear my boob in a frying pan all while caring for a newborn. It also dried up my milk on one side due to complete blockage. So...with that icing on my BoobyLand Adventure cake...I stopped nursing. And we are ALL happier for it. Breastfeeding was harder for me than childbirth.

That Bitch, Mastitis, not only found it entertaining to cause me pain and suffering but also tried to ruin my life entirely. Oh yes. That pesky boob infection caused me to almost unintentionally share a pic of my enraged, enflamed, angry mastitis boob with the world! Just know this....if you ever take a pic of your horribly swollen and 'red as a stop sign' mastitis boob to send to your husband so he can understand your horrendous pain from afar...make sure you don't soon after update your Google+ app. As it may start randomly selecting pics from your phone to share with your Google+ audience.....Um, true story. Imagine tech illiterate me: "Honey....why does my phone keep alerting me that I have new pics selected for share on Google+? I updated it this is like selecting random pictures to share?....(slow realization that there is an enraged boob pic on my phone) Slow motion run/jump/fall towards my phone....:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
But enough boob talk for heaven's sake!
The Monkey started back to school. He is now in first grade. "what what!?" I remember when we were worried he would enter kindergarten still wearing a pull up! What happened to the years!!

I am back to work. I so wish I didn't have to go back to work. But I do. I remember visiting a friend of mine when I was about 20. She was a young stay at home mom. She talked to me lovingly for what seemed like eternity about how she had just redone her backsplash and painted her kitchen a lovely shade of robin's egg blue. She talked about all the baby's little gurggles and milestones.....I wanted to stab myself in the eye with her paint swatches! As I drove away I thought to myself "You could not pay me enough to be a stay at home way no how." Well, now, at 30, I would give anything to be at home paying attention to every gurggle and coo and would be crazy stinkin excited to be picking out a new DIY backsplash plan. Oh how the years change us.
However, I am blessed to have a career. While I miss my baby more than words can describe, I am trying to enjoy what my life IS. I enjoy the adult conversations I have at work again, I enjoy drinking coffee and talking about sports, and new budget year purchases, and upcoming meetings. I am enjoying working, and being good at my job. But most of all, I enjoy going and picking up my Squishy at 5. 

And....I missed my blogland is good to be back.

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