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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

He is easy to love

This little fella, right here....

has completely turned our lives upside down. He never sleeps, often refuses to eat, and always refuses to do anything but pull up on all the furniture, all the time...(ending in slips and bumped heads...every...5....minutes) He struggles to get down now when I try to snuggle him too much, he is always ready to go and cruise and move, and yet still never wants to rest. I love him more than words could describe, and when I look at these pictures of his little face, my heart feels like it might explode with love and pride.  He is not a particularly easy baby, but loving him is easy. And I thank God everyday for picking me to be his Mommy.
{ a busy little bee, note the one sock on, one sock off...that is his signature look...kinda like when LL Cool J rolled one pant leg for some unknown reason... (Am I severely dating myself by referring to LL Cool J?)}
An update on the "cry it out"....we did great for the first few days, and things seemed promising. We were able to get him to sleep in his own crib with like maaaaybe 5 minutes of fussing...and then he got a sniffly cold. And his congestion woke him up almost hourly, and I would have to pick him up and set him upright to get it to drain and give him some relief. And he couldn't suck his pacifier in order to put himself back to sleep, cause he couldn't breathe out of his widdle nose. And so...we are back a square one. He is waking up crying multiple times per night, and the only thing that consoles him is me picking him up and rocking him in our recliner. So...we will try again. His sniffles seem to be subsiding, so we will start over. Only now...he can pull up on his crib. And he stands at the bars screaming like some sort of unruly jail inmate, screaming for his release from this unjust imprisonment. It is just as much fun as it sounds. Oh, and did I mention, he still shares a room with us? I literally sleep (no I don't) about 3 feet away from him in my own bed. That isn't good enough. He must be touching me. Period. More on the shared room situation later. We have some things in the works to remedy this problem, but I don't want to talk about it here until some more things are finalized.
Stay tuned......
And while you wait enjoy this face:

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Cry it Out

So our little Piglet is 7 months old now. Well jeez, he is almost 8 months I guess...He is growing into a real person, with a personality, and expressions, and opinions.

He looks just like his Daddy:
{Top the Piglet...Bottom the Hubs..circa 1974ish...uncanny}
And while his looks seem to be all Daddy, his attitude seems to be all Momma. Crap..... 
Daddy is easy going and always calm. Momma is fussy, and gets easily frustrated by inanimate objects. check
Daddy is a rock, steady and rarely moody. Momma is prone to flit from one mood to the next, and can often be found muttering to myself about the ridiculousness of teenagers shoe choices, and ranting about the insanity of selfies. check
Daddy was a sweet child who wanted nothing more than to please his parents. (well, so he says. His sweet mother is no longer with us to tell me I guess I will have to believe him....)
Momma was a tantrum throwing baby, who would literally scream until I made myself throw up and pass out to get my way as a toddler. (my mother will definitely confirm this story)check...
Crap! the boy is just like me! He is fussy, and gets easily frustrated, he is moody, and can throw a fit that rivals Kanye West losing his music award to a country singer. But with that, we share a contemplative nature, and a drive to always accomplish more than we are really capable of, and a strong love for our very important people.
Oh that little Piglet. He likes to be held and cuddled, just like his momma. And lately, he only wants to sleep one way...being held and rocked.  We are getting up every hour or two to a screaming banshee child only to find the only relief is picking him up and rocking him....and NEVER.PUTTING.HIM.DOWN
The Hubs and I  had a talk over lunch today. We are thinking we have no choice but to let him "cry it out." We have a plan, and time limits, and we are going to try this in a slow gradual progression. And you know me, I researched the hell out of it.
And yet, I hate it. I want to do nothing but make him stop crying. It is an instinct I cannot shut off. I am so in love with this child, if I think about it too much it frightens me a bit. I love him more than I could ever describe with words. He looks to me for comfort and security and wants nothing more than for his Momma to hold him securely all night. So he can feel my breath and heartbeat, and I can feel his. But I know that at some point this is too much of a good thing. And as he gets older and more mobile, it will only get worse. (Many internet folks said once they can pull up on that are done for) And I cannot rock him all night every night. I know, I know all of that. I know he is certainly old enough to sleep through the night and he must learn to soothe himself.
Knowing all of that....It just doesn't make it any easier.
And so, we will take this fall, this plunge, together; both scared, and both not wanting to let the other go.
But we must.
I must teach my baby to fly with his own wings. Even if it is just baby steps, like sleeping in a crib alone...2 feet away from me.
So, tonight we cry it out...him...and me.